Romance scams: how they work and how to help

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam is a relationship that exists only to take your money. The scammer creates a fake profile, builds trust over weeks or months, sometimes chatting several times a day, and then invents a reason they need money.

Older adults lose huge sums this way. In its 2025 annual report, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) recorded 10,188 complaints of romance and confidence fraud from people 60 and older, with reported losses of about $584 million. Because many people are too embarrassed to report, the real total is likely higher.

Where do romance scammers find people?

The FTC says romance scammers create fake profiles on dating sites and apps and also reach out through social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram. Social media is now the most common starting point: the FTC found that nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2025 said it began on a social media platform.

Scammers often study what you post online, such as your hobbies or the loss of a spouse, and shape their story around it so the connection feels personal from the first message.

What lies do romance scammers tell?

The FTC describes the same lies over and over:

• They can’t meet you. They say they live or travel abroad, work on an oil rig, serve in the military or work for an international organization.
• They want to leave the dating site. Soon after you match, they ask to move to email, text or a messaging app.
• They ask for money. It may be for medical bills, a plane ticket to visit you, visa costs or fees to get them out of “trouble.”
• They tell you how to pay. Wire transfers, gift cards, money transfer apps and cryptocurrency are favorites because the money is hard to get back.
• They rush you. Every request is urgent.

For the full checklist, see the signs of a romance scammer. If you are worried about a parent, our guide to talking to a parent about romance scams covers the signs family members notice first. To report a romance scam, see where to report a scam.

Why do romance scams often turn into investment scams?

Some scammers never ask for money directly. Instead, they “help” you make money. The FTC says romance scammers may offer to get you started in cryptocurrency investing, and its 2026 analysis of social media scams found that scammers often casually offered investment advice to draw people onto a fake investment platform.

The fake platform shows growing profits, so people invest more, sometimes their whole savings. When they try to withdraw, they’re told to pay “taxes” or “fees” first. The profits were never real. Read how fake trading platforms work.

Scammers now also use AI to create convincing photos, video and voices for their fake identities. Our guide to AI voice and deepfake scams explains what to watch for.

How can you help a parent who may be involved?

If you think a parent is being scammed, the way you start the conversation matters as much as what you say.

• Lead with curiosity, not blame. Ask how they met and what the person does for work.
• Check together. The FTC suggests a reverse image search of the person’s profile photo and searching their job plus the word “scammer.”
• Talk about money in general. Agree that nobody should send money to someone they haven’t met in person.
• Stay connected. Scammers try to isolate victims. Regular calls and visits help.

If money has already been sent, contact the bank or payment company right away and report the scam at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and IC3.gov. Notify the dating site or social network where the scammer made contact, too. Our first-hour checklist covers the next steps.

More guides: 9 signs of a romance scammer and how to protect an aging parent from scams.