Signs of a Romance Scammer: 9 Red Flags to Know

Romance scams are among the most painful frauds because the victim loses money and a relationship that felt real. The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center recorded 10,188 romance and confidence fraud complaints from people 60 and older in 2025, with about $584 million in reported losses. Here are the signs of a romance scammer to watch for.

This guide lists the nine warning signs to watch for. For an overview of the scam and how to help a loved one, see our guide to romance scams.

How do romance scams start?

Most start with a friendly message on a dating app, a social network or even a “wrong number” text. The FTC says scammers create fake profiles on dating sites and apps or reach out through social media sites such as Instagram and Facebook. Social media is now the most common starting point: nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2025 said it began on a social media platform, the FTC found.

From there, the scammer builds trust, sometimes chatting several times a day. The FBI describes “love bombing,” when a victim is quickly showered with praise and attention so they feel trust and closeness before the scam begins.

What are the warning signs of a romance scammer?

These are the nine red flags we see most often in official warnings:

1. They can’t meet you. The FTC says scammers always have a reason: they live or travel abroad, work on an oil rig, serve in the military or work for an international organization.
2. They avoid video calls. The camera is “broken,” the connection is bad, or they’re “not allowed” on base.
3. They move fast. Declarations of love come within days or weeks.
4. They want to leave the dating site. They ask to switch to email, text or a messaging app soon after you match.
5. Their story doesn’t add up. Details change, photos look too polished, or their profile has few connections.
6. They have a sudden emergency. Medical bills, a stolen wallet, a visa problem or fees to get out of trouble.
7. They ask for money for travel. A plane ticket “so we can finally meet.”
8. They tell you how to pay. The FTC says scammers ask for wire transfers, gift cards, money transfer apps or cryptocurrency, because the money is hard to get back.
9. They talk about investing. The FTC notes that romance scammers may offer to help you get started in cryptocurrency investing.

EXAMPLE — SCAM

Today 11:03 PM●●● ▮

# (312) 555-0187 Text message

My love, I finally finished the contract on the rig and I’m coming home to you! But customs is holding my equipment and they want $2,800 in fees before I can leave. My accounts are frozen until I’m back in the U.S. Can you help me just this once? I’ll pay you back the day I land. You’re the only person I trust.

How can you check if a profile is real?

You don’t have to confront anyone to check. The FTC suggests two simple steps:

• Do a reverse image search of the person’s profile picture. If the photo is linked to another name or details that don’t match, that’s a sign of a scam.
• Search the job they claim plus the word “scammer,” for example “oil rig scammer” or “U.S. Army scammer,” to see if others have posted similar stories.

Also talk to someone you trust. The FTC asks a useful question: are your friends or family worried about your new love interest? Scammers work hard to keep you isolated, so an outside opinion is powerful. Adult children can use our guide to talking to a parent about romance scams.

Why do romance scams turn into crypto investment scams?

Some scammers never ask for money directly. Instead, they “help” you make money. The FTC found that romance scammers on social media often offer investment advice to draw people onto a fake investment platform. The platform shows big profits, so victims invest more, sometimes everything.

The FBI warns that in some of these schemes, scammers even send couriers to people’s homes to collect cash for the “investment” after banks block transfers. When the victim tries to withdraw, they’re told to pay taxes and penalties first. Read how fake trading scams unfold.

Scammers also use AI to create fake photos, voices and live video for their personas. See AI voice and deepfake scams.

What should you do if you’ve sent money?

Stop sending money, even if you’re promised it will all be paid back. Then:

1. Contact the company you used to pay — your bank, card company, gift card company, payment app or crypto exchange — tell them it was a scam and ask for a refund.
2. Stop communicating with the person.
3. Report the profile to the dating site or app, and report the scam at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and IC3.gov. Our guide to where to report a scam lists every agency.
4. Watch for recovery scams. People who lost money are often contacted by “investigators” or “lawyers” offering to get it back for a fee. That’s another scam.

Our first-hour checklist after a scam walks you through each payment method.